The five year plan
Walking home a couple of evening’s ago in the glorious spring sunshine I couldn’t help but think about how I had never quite imagined this a year ago and certainly not two years ago and then how my ten and five year plans are really quite different now.
I’ve always carried these plans in my head (don’t we all?) When I was younger I thought I knew how it would all work, when I would meet the man I wanted to marry, how many years together, when we’d get married, the career I would have and when to start having babies.
As I grew up the plans changed, reformed and got wilder or more realistic depending on the time of the month. Once I met J the plans started to become more our plans and not just mine, of course at first they were very separate and slowly they merged, creating a shared future. Those times are wonderful when we dream and we shape our future together and the plan becomes more real because it’s ours not mine.
Of late I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of future gazing, for some reason this move has made me think in years rather than days/weeks/or months. Perhaps it’s part of growing up, perhaps it’s just what I fall back on when I’m unsure about what will happen or missing home. Who knows, whatever it is I think it’s time to redraft our five year plan. After all a lot can change in a few months, let alone five years.
Yup, I remember my 20 year plan was to have a big house, a BMW, a Porsche and about 5 kids. Doesn’t look like any of that is going to happen – well I have 2 kids but other than that! I know what you mean, especially meeting a partner because then the plans have to meet with someone elses and they seem to become more fluid the older you get. I am so far removed from my 10 year plan it isn’t funny. I guess the key must be how you adapt to the change in the plans rather than what the plans are.
Exactly, I still enjoy the planning though
And I’m learning fluidity… Slowly, but surely.
We’re always redrafting our plans, although I’m not sure either of us often thinks more than about three years ahead. I love sharing these talks and working out how what we want together and how we’re going to support each other for the things we want for ourselves.
It is important still to have your own things huh. I like that, working out the together and how together to acheive what each wants. And yes the sharing of the talks is the best.
Mmm, yes. I know about future gazing. And it turns out that one of the things that had been kind of unconsciously feeding into my disappointment about not being sprogged yet is that once upon a time, my life plan included having ALL my kids by 30. Um, REALLY realistic given my career, but there you go. Adaptation really is key.
It’s funny how things are with the Boy and I, too. I’m a Planner, I like to know where I’m going, and when I should be there, and roughly which route I’m taking. He just… flows. Well, clearly not entirely, cause he wouldn’t be what he is if he completely didn’t plan, but he’s much more fluid about how things happen. Over the years, I’ve been relaxing into that. It’s really nice when I can let go. And lately, with the whole failed exam, no job after August scenario I’ve HAD to let go, and boy am I glad he’s given me lots of practice.
I’ve done that too, when I was younger, 30 wasn’t say eight years away but it was 30, so I didn’t quite connect years passing to getting to a certain age and then suddenly it’s there. You are that age and things aren’t what you thought. I agree that it’s hard to balance where you thought you were going to be and where you are sometimes. Although sometimes that can be good! Imagine if you had had all your kids by thirty, what would have happened to your career?
You and the Boy sound very similar to me and J. I plan, he goes along with it and together we make it. Sometimes he plans which confuses me for a bit but is really a rather nice diversion… Relaxing into more fluidity can only be good for both of us I imagine!